I train with an ex-Ajax player?

Weekly Review for 4th – 10th February 2013
There were times this week where I thought like “fuck I’m sick of worrying and stressing about football!” It’s been 3 1/2 years now since I decided I wanted to become pro. There’s been alot of bullshit, people who give you false hope, proving yourself constantly, forcing yourself to get up out of your chair and train in the cold, wind, rain, snow, heat. Sometimes I just want to say fuck this shit and imagine the weight of my own expectations off my shoulders.

Then I saw some words in a Daniel Villegas blog post who by the way I actually found out was on trial with Tony, the guy I trialed with in Montrose back in 2011! Very small world.

His thoughts after another failed trial..

… So I decide I’ll sleep at the airport even though my flight didn’t leave for about another 16 hours or so. So I lie down on the floor next to an outlet to have my phone charged and rest my head on my traveling bag. As I laid there knowing I failed another trial, not much money to my name, my indoor season not going as I envisioned. I thought damn I should probably be a little depressed, instead I took the latter. As I laid there I kinda just laughed at life. When you can laugh at life, it’s truly a euphoric feeling. I laughed at my situation, and just thought hey its okay. You’re doing what YOU want, you’re chasing YOUR dreams, YOU get PAID to play what you LOVE. Not many people can say that, sure I don’t live the best life. Can I live better in Miami with my family? For sure, but I could never comprehend if you have a CHANCE no matter how small it is, to chase your dream why not take that chance? So I continue to, regardless of ALL my failed attempts. Really, like I continue to fall, but I have such an AMAZING support system it keeps me going. I really just want to make it, to be happy but more importantly to give back EVERYTHING AND MORE to my family who’s done everything possible for me.

I can really relate to what he’s saying.. I think I’ve felt like that a few times before.  You just have to laugh about things sometimes and not take everything too seriously. Me and Danny are kind of in the same boat. Hopefully he will keep pushing through!

I’ve basically stopped training with Zeeburgia because Mike told me to go train with A1 on Wednesday.. because he knows I’m joining JOS..or the coach thinks I’m not good enough. I just left training and ended up going to the gym.  I was whatsapping him and he said I could train at his center as apparently a few pro non-contracted players are training there.. the downside is that it will cost 25 euro a session I think. If I’m training there 3x a week, that’s a lot of money – so I’ll probably go back there later this week and figure out an alternative with him or just end up paying the $.

I’m currently training with the  JOS reserves under coach Jermaine because my playing license hasn’t been registered yet (I hope that’s the reason I’m not training with firsts), although that should happen this coming week. Big news! Finally got my locker key and number. I guess I’m officially number 34 now lol.

I was just googling a few names from my team and was surprised to see this!

I read this about Jermaine on a footballing site:  “Jermaine comes after an impressive playing career to include the pros of Haarlem, Volendam and the English Port Vale, now working as a trainer, coach”.  That’s pretty awesome! Had no idea he played pro. What’s more interesting is that a couple of guys I was playing with on the same team in a 7 v 7 reserve training match were seasoned professionals aswell. Didi Longuet, now 31 years old, played for FC Dordrecht and he played a few times in the Eredivisie. He’s actually an ex-Ajax player! Looks like he was brought on as one of five young talents signed by Ajax in 2000. Pictured here with Rafael Van der Vaart!  Another one, Rich Bossman, 27, was a regular in the Jupiler league for Telstar. Awesome! So I guess if there’s some guys to learn from, they’re the ones to look at.

In other news, Rogic got MOTM for Celtic in his debut match. Holy shit.. good on him. I still can’t figure out how he’s progressed so much. He was basically given the same opportunities I was in Canberra, but somehow he’s up there to a world class standard now. I can’t see how he got more than a few thousand hours of practice in him.. it’s strange.

Final thing, I had a dream earlier in the week. I won’t get into detail, but I think I had just got signed to a big club and I was on my way there from a Australian airport. The feeling of excitement and joy I was having in that dream was just overwhelming – hopefully I’ll get to experience that for real one day.

Goal Journal