As I’m writing this I feel a bit lost being back in my hometown Canberra. Australian lifestyle is ‘different’ to that of Europe and I guess that takes some getting used to again. I guess it’s because I’ve been exposed to such a international sort of environment in the lively city of Budapest and now I’m in the 350,000 population town of Canberra! The mentality is ‘different’, the way people act, people’s values, etc. So I feel lost, but I’m very happy as always being back with the friends and family I grew up with and being completely familiar with everything, although I love the fun of living in an unfamiliar place. “So what’s the plan from here, Nick?” people have been asking me. It’s a difficult answer, infact any answer I’ve had to give on my future the last 18 months has been difficult. That’s just one of the crazy things about chasing your dreams, you don’t know what’s going to happen next. You might have an idea or a plan, but things are constantly changing, opportunities come and go, and your desires change. Many people think that’s stressful and difficult, and to be honest it is, there’s never a day that goes by without having a deep thought about what will happen next, but what’s most important (and my Dad told me this), to enjoy the adventure. If you don’t, life is a waste and I strongly believe that. That’s why I minimise my time spent worrying, stressing out, being angry at myself for missing a shot in training, etc. Get over it, put a smile on your face, and be thankful for everything you have..that’s just my approach.
I attended a training session at my old club that I used to play at when I was 8 – 13 years old, Woden Valley. I remember playing at Woden and playing with players that we’re much better than I was. But when I was 11, 12, 13, I was placed in the division 2 side of my age group. I remember going to tryouts and one of the coaches (I think his name was Frank) didn’t think I was good enough to play in the first division. I remember crying about it and thinking how I wasn’t good enough to make the first division! I think this is where I developed a sense of fear and nervousness from that time that plagued me when I began going to trials when I was 16. Eventually, I moved clubs and played as an important player for the best team in the first division of my age group. I’ve grown out of being scared before trials, but a bit of that fear came back today, there’s alot I have to prove to myself and my friends. I feel like I have to set an amazing impression when I’m on the field to match my ambitions, otherwise people will dismiss me as being just another dreamer. Canberra is a small place, people talk alot and word gets around quick so a bad impression will make me a loser. Anyway, I set a great impression on the coaching staff and there was really nothing to worry about except sunburn. I shouldn’t really be talking this up anyway, it’s just the ACT premier league, somewhere I can train until I move somewhere else and it’s another planet away from Szigetszentmiklos for example.
I’m out of fitness and my sharpness, so getting back into running and sprinting everyday will prepare me for what’s ahead.
And what’s ahead.. I don’t know! But I will ‘enjoy the adventure’ until I do know 🙂
More facebook messaging with Chris this week and he talked about trialing for a 2nd division Spanish club for their U/18’s squad and it sounded like the opportunity was concrete. Chris hasn’t come back with any news from Sydney FC, but hopefully next week he will. And he’s supposed to be hearing from Dundee soon aswell. So it’s mostly all talk, as always. I contacted the AIS again and now I’m just waiting a reply to see whether or not I can go train there again for a short-while.
So another sore eyed late night post and another new week! Legoooooo
Going to try getting a training session in every day of the week with local clubs to gain fitness again. Completed 13:40 hours of learning this week.. feel like I’m getting sick and tired of watching games, which has been my main source of learning the past few weeks so less of that will refresh my brain. So next week will be 21:20.
Football in Canberra