Another training ended and one of my teammates said “Nick, I haven’t been feeling your passion for the last few weeks, there’s no fight, no determination”, I was surprised by hearing that comment. In response I just said I’m tired, which I have been the last week or so. By the way, I decided to create this post now instead of playing a brand new FIFA 11 copy I’ve been anticipating for weeks and I desperately want to play, I realise my real career in football is more important. Anyway, I thought deeper and deeper on the way home and in the shower and I think he was right. There hasn’t been the same “passion” in the last few weeks as there had been in August for example. I have been less determined to win the ball or to run back, etc. It’s not because football is not fun for me and I don’t want to do it anymore because I feel it’s fun and I love to play, It’s really because of one reason: I feel as though I should already be playing a professional club. I am the best player in my club team and in my school team. There’s not a focus that’s physically right there in front of me I can be motivated by, what I mean is that there’s not a better player technically, no pressure from other players trying to be better than me because I probably train three times as much as they do. And so I do “just enough”.
I guess it’s one of the drawbacks of playing in a low-skilled team, but I have little choices. I have to think straight too, I couldn’t confidently say YES if someone asked me now whether I was good enough to play in an top European academy.
I’ve realised now that I gotta look at the bigger picture, of the goal I set for myself in February this year of playing for a Premier League academy by next year. I can’t adapt to the worser players because than maybe I’ll become a “worser player.” I have to fight and sprint and work to get the ball as if I were playing in a premier league game. I have to visualise with what’s in front of me. Because if I don’t and I keep the way I’m going, I will not reach my goal.
So from tomorrow’s training I will: